> Wreckognize <

Melicious was the sheep that actually broke away from the pack,literally.For those of you that don’t know her story, once there lived a girl,a goody-two-shoes you might say, that one day ripened into an exemplary young lady who had accomplished everything career-oriented that she was ‘supposed to’ do. She took her talents and climbed with them to the top of the ladder of compliance, and then jumped. And on this adventure, an unanticipated swift of roller derby and its’ rebirth was introduced, spinning her life into a blast of excitement that could only be found on the track.

She is the cultivated and sharp-witted writer responsible for Rollergirl: Totally True Tales From The Track, a source for Roller Derby roots as well as inspiring words that remind each and every one of us our role in the banded camaraderie working towards reinventing the piece of American culture that puts meaning to our communities, our souls and our legacies. For those of you who have read the book, maybe you can use her words as inspiration to start your own projects. Passion brings about projects like Melicious’ into fruition. No need to feel guilty about checking the roller_girls messageboard at work. There’s a reason why you can’t help yourself. Here’s an example of a good reason.

E: Let’s get the facts out of the way. Full Derby name?
M: Melicious

E: Who is your Derby wife?
M: I don’t have an official derby wife but I have shameless crushes around on wonderful, kickass awesome Rollergirls from around the country and in my league: Bloody Mary, Dirty Deeds, Barbarella, Muffin Tumble, Belle Star, Cat Tastrophe, Sheriff Shutyerpaio, Val Capone, Rettig to Rumble, Crackerjack, Predator, Ivanna Destroya, Angel in Shadows, I could go on and on….

E: OOooo.., sheriff. Shoulder rock block to the chest. Pain. The memory. Hurt. Bad. What team do you skate for?
M: Texas Rollergirls Rock ‘n’ Rollerderby is my league and I am #11 on the Hotrod Honeys.

E: Occupation?
M: Writer

E: Roller skating background?
M: Rink rat. Nothing fancy just forward-backward and moony-eyed couple skates. I hadn’t been on skates in at least 10 years when I started Flat Track.

E: And you’ve been doing derby for how long now?
M: I joined in the summer of 2002, so this is my 5th year.

E: I read that you’re from a small town in PA, aside from Yuengling and WaWa, what do you miss about it there?
M: The Landingville Fire Hall…they have a breakfast to benefit the Firemen and they serve homefries, toast and sausage and the firemen walk around with pitchers to fill your coffee. It’s like a time warp because everyone from my hometown is there and they all seem too familiar to me even though most people don’t recognize me, but when they do it’s always really fun and weird at the same time.

E: That sounds very Pennsylvania. Have you had a chance to check out the Pennsylvanian leagues?
M: I’m not usually there for long enough, but I am planning on it the next time I venture back. I would love to check out Philly, Lancaster and Harrisburg. I’m thrilled to know that Flat Track Derby has hit my home state!

E: It’s always interesting to see who you would be skating with if you never left home. For some reason I think it’s easier to warm up to them than other leagues I visit. Aside from your local Austin Derby exposure, you’re probably most globally known for your writing contributions to verby culture with your recent release, Rollergirl Totally Tue Tales From The Track. Is it ‘totally’ a relief to finally have ROLLERGIRL out there?
M: Yes, I’m totally excited to have it out! The response from the Derby community has been really positive and overwhelming. It’s great to hear that so many people can relate to my story and the story of the Texas Rollergirls. Now I’m hoping that it gets in the hands of folks who are unfamiliar with Derby, because ROLLERGIRL is about more than just a game. It’s about strong women that refuse to take no for an answer. It’s also about body image and self-perception. There are a lot of life lessons learned by Rollergirls. You can be whatever you want to be – you just have to believe in it and go after it with both barrels blazing. And no matter what your size or shape, you can feel really good about yourself.

E: How do you think that is?
M: Roller Derby is a sport that requires all different body types -- all three positions can use different sizes. When you’re playing, you can use that confidence on the track – and off the track, you can continue that feeling… knowing that all sizes and shapes are valuable andbeautiful.

E: Who inspires you?
M: I have two big motivators- one internal and one external- and they work together to keep me going. The external inspiration is the other amazing women in our Derby world. I’m moved by both their physical skills -- great skating, hitting hard, physical conditioning -- and their creativity, passion and drive. The internal inspiration is to be as fit, strong, confident and powerful as I can be. I like to pretend I’m in training to be a spy or an action hero.

E: What super power would you choose?
M: Probably the ability to speed up or slow down time at will.

E: What do you think Rollergirls could do in order to grow and strengthen the sport?
M: I think we need more exposure. The sport is going through its natural growth cycle. The media concentrates more on the entertainment aspect of the sport’s startup, rather than focusing on the sport itself. When I signed up, I didn’t even know that I was joining a ‘sport’ perse, and now that I know that it is I think it important that we keep a healthy mix of both. By educating people about what we do, we will grow.

E: What has Roller Derby done for you?
M: Roller Derby has made all of my dreams come true. It sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. Roller Derby inspired my book and my music. It made me more confident emotionally and physically.

E: Your music?
M: Yes, I play in three bands. I am the hostess/tambourine player in Karaoke Apocalypse and you can check us out at www.DeadMotleySexmaidens.com… I play keyboards in Peter Elliot and the Sellouts (myspace.com/peterelliottandthesellouts)… and I play keys and sing in my husband’s band St. Joe’s Choir (www.stjoeschoir.com).

E: And what are two of the biggest turning points in your derby life?
M: Two or three years ago, there was a game that I played and for the first time in which I really felt like an athlete. Something that my team captain, Catastrophe, said to me made me feel really valuable. I’m not like a ‘best skater’ but I was really fit and I had endurance because I work at it. We were looking at the lineups before the game and to my surprise I was in so many jams! She looked at me and said, “ You’re my work horse.” It made me feel so awesome… like an important part of the team. The other was when I represented my league on ‘Good Morning America in New York.’ That helped me get my literary agent, it was huge exposure for Texas Rollergirls and the sport. It was a time when this crazy little hobby thing really grew up.

E: Are there any lies that you discovered about derby?
M: Well, in the early days the prevailing attitude was that you had to be tough enough to show you could hang. The organization I joined was rocky and not friendly or welcoming to rookies. The misperception is that you can’t show emotional or physical weakness in order to be a Rollergirl. I say, fuck those fears. A truly brave person isn’t necessarily fearless; the brave person is the one who is afraid and tries over and over again anyway.

E: What was the worst Derby duty you’ve been given?
M: After my first very first bout I felt like a million bucks! I’m not opposed to work, but directly after the game I was given a vacuum cleaner. All the hipster guys and the most glamorous girls were watching while I vacuumed the massive Playland floor. It was definitely a down ending to an otherwise fun night.

E: Yeah, I’ve changed trash bags in between signing autographs before.
M: hehe, yeah.. it’s just one of those things that comes with the grassroots part of it all.

E: When you tore your rotator cuff, what did it feel like to not be able to practice? How did you keep yourself busy and what kind of advice do you have for injured skaters?
M: The emotional challenge was to try to not lose my Rollergirl dentity. And as far as the physical challenge, until you have an injury you will never know the compassion and empathy that you need when you can’t skate. It sucks to be short a skater on your team, but to not be able to skate, sucks even worse. I had so much anxiety about being left behind after I came back, (6 mos. later) but you have to be patient with yourself and also patient with other skaters. Welcome back your injured skaters with open hearts and words of encouragement.

E: What did you miss about derby lately?
M: Well I haven’t skated since last September, then there was the book tour, and it was tough not having time with friends at practice. Being around strong women has a positive affect on me. I still work out 4-6 times per week, but there is something empowering about the emotional impact of being able to take/give a hit. I love being athletic and regular workouts do give body confidence, but Roller Derby provides something special. I think it’s that combination of being physically fit and strong and powerful, while still acknowledging – and enjoying – our sexy, flirtatious, feminine characteristics, too.

E: Is there anyone you want to thank?
M: I’d be nowhere without the fabulous members of the Texas Rollergirls: the skaters, the amazing support crew, the widowers, and of course D the B. They’re my extended family, and I love ‘em.

Joining derby can be as intimidating as much as it can be exciting. No matter how many years you’ve been dishin’ it out on the track, all of us can think of the first blockers that intimidated or scared the shit out of us in our first scrimmage. Whether you still hone onto that fear today or not, you’ll always remember those that made your heart beat faster then. Since this is Via’s first month of rolling, I thought it might be appropriate to interview the blocker that made me first quiver, and I’ll say, I am NOT the only one. Not only has she been injecting her mental venom to the trembling knees of rookies throughout the SoCal area, she’s flagrantly trampling up and down the coast, coaching eager defensewomen like herself, how to bruise amongst the best. She is Los Angeles’ Derby Dolls,’ fear evoking, Tara Armov.

I had a chance to speak to Tara about her smashing status one Saturday morning during a phone call.

Ringing…
T: (a deep, mellow tone) hello?
E: hey Tara.

T: estro! Heard you had a flat tire issue last night, you didn’t make it to the game?
E: yea, it sucked. Still haven’t gotten it fixed. I was so bummed.. I really wanted to see them play, did you have a good time?
T: Well, Razor (Razorslut, LADD) and I announced and the sound system was all funny. They had 1 wireless mic for the two of us and it was outta range back and forth and the audio kept tuning in and out. We were hoisting the mic back and forth at each other in anger until they got it altogether in the third period. Other than that it was good.

E: How’d they play?
T: San Jouxin lost, Bako (Bakersfield, CA) doubled their score.

E: Yeah, they’ve got some really fucking hard hitters. So, what are you doing today? What’s on Tara Armov’s agenda?
T: Tara Armov is doing some freelance.

E: Is this a good time to ask her questions?
T: Yeah, what do you want to know?

E: Can you tell Via’s visitors who Tara Armov is?
T: Well, Tara Armov has a loud mouth. Tara Armov loves yelling. Tara Armov loves roller derby. Tara was born to do Roller Derby and she never knew it. I’m a fan, an enthusiast, a coach, a ref, supporter and I like everyone that’s cool, and well, that’s not just about everyone.

E: How’d you get the name? It’s the raddest.
T: After my first Derby Dolls practice, I came up with Tara Anchula because I like spiders. My husband came up with Tara Armov and it stuck.

E: And now you live happily ever after as Tara and Busta Armov. Very sweet. Who likes Roller Derby more, Tara or Busta?
T: Hahhaa, good question, Tara. I’m really lucky that he became so involved though. I spent so much time away because of a derby, derby became a ‘join ‘em’ thing for him.

E: If Tara and Busta had a baby, what would you put in front of Armov to make it a brainchild.
T: Wouldn’t that mean we would need brains to have a brainchild?

E: Are you avoiding coming up with a derby name for your unborn Armov? Don’t be uncomfortable,.. tellll usss.
T: We have cats instead of kids. There skate names are Rippa, Bite-a and, oh, I forgot the third one’s skate name. Ha!

E: About that brain..…. so, what are some common misconceptions of Tara Armov?
T: That I’m not just an asshole.

E: hahhaa
T: I dunno, people like being afraid of me, I don’t know why?

E: I do.
T: [silence]

E: Exactly. Ok, Who intimidates you?
T: I only get intimidated to a certain extent. If a skater in unpredictable than I think that makes her intimidating. I think certain skaters are challenging. Like, Smarty Pants (TXRD), she’s challenging but I wouldn’t call her intimidating. Juana Beat’n (LADD) can be pretty hard to call.

E: So if we call Smarty Pants up right now and tell her you aren’t intimidated by her, you wouldn’t be scared just a little bit?
T: hahaha

E: Do you have 3-way? Naww,.. ok so you aren’t scared, but everyone around you is,… how are you avoiding this confrontation. What kind of excuses do you give in Derby?
T: The only excuse I consistently use in Roller Derby is if I actually have an injury. I try to face those fears and it scares the crap out of me.

E: Scared.. oooOOo, run with it…
T: You came from a skating background- I became an athlete at 35. I was raised by geeks. Half the skaters out there came from similar backgrounds. The ‘what ifs’ can be difficult to get through.

E: Alriiiight, I can swallow that with a big gulp of respect. What’s the best derby advice you’ve ever been given?
T: “Shut up and skate!”

E: Where did you hear that first?
T: Strangely enough, I heard that from Coach Blade, who likes to talk a lot.

E: Ughhh.. yeah he does. I think his blood is pumped by bearings. He’s always got something to say about roller derby. I love talking derby to anyone, though. Speaking of Blade… do you think that banked track is at a disadvantage because of the growing number of leagues being inducted into the wftda?
T: Not because of wftda, because of the overhead needed to keep it going. Securing a place is a whole educational process of it’s own,… permits, zoning, real estate, etc. I have my personal preference and I’m not going to slam someone else’s. We are all in the same boat. The early league breakups are becoming more common, and less dramatic than they were a couple years ago when Tuscon and Austin split. Just look at ACDG and LADD, we support each other’s games and cheer each other on. I think track surface is just a personal preference and playing each other isn’t outlawed and the drama needs to die.

E: I agree, I love, love seeing Dolls in the crowd. For one, I’m guaranteed that there are fans in the crowd that know exactly what’s
going on and I trust their cheers. Y’know, sometimes I don’t know if I got a reaction because my panties showed or whether that block was good. Also, being in the same city, we’re competing in other ways, so if I know banked girls are in the crowd, I want to show off my cleanest, best skills. I’ll be damned if they catch me playing out of control. AND not only that, but derby girls are derby girls biggest fans. When I’m itchin for some live action, I don’t have to travel far, someone else is playing.

E: If a flat-track league were to challenge LADD, what rules do you think you would choose to play?
T: I don’t know for sure but I can tell you that TXRD (banked track) has different rules than we do, and it’s been customary to play the home team’s rules.

E: How should one prepare to skate on a banked track?
T: Skate on anything other than a flat surface.

E: When I first skated the banked track it felt just like pumping through a bowl corner,.. would you suggest skaters prepare by going to the skatepark?
T: Definitely.

E: What do you have to say for yourself scaring all those newbies that come to the Derby Dolls?
T: I’ll say they have it easy! They have examples to look up to. The new girls entering the sport now are improving at such faster rates. When we first started, there was nobody to emulate. I think it is easier to pick up since there are examples. I hope for all of them to surpass us, we can’t do this forever. They have to carry on.

E: What kind of advice do you have for girls just starting Roller Derby?
T: Do your research, ask as many questions as you can. Never leave yourself guessing, there are so many people to turn to for help. Be dedicated, be informed.

E: Tell us what you love about Roller Derby most?
T: Awwww My Gaawwwd! [silence] When I found Roller Derby- ( a bombastic, sentence-less overload of feelings comes pouring out)I found something that really clicked. You don’t have to sensor yourself around them, surprisingly an open minded bunch, trailblazing, a new interpretation of this old thing, the athleticism, I just can’t pick one aspect about this. I learned so much about myself and I’ve been able to take those lessons learned in derby and apply them to life.

E: Stop. Like what?
T: Like taking on a leadership role. Calling bullshit.

E: Well put. Is there anyone you want to thank?
T: TXRD for giving me my first exposure to all-girl DIY roller derby four years ago. Demolicious and Thora Zeen for forming LA Derby Dolls. Coach Blade for giving me a challenge and the guts to go through with it. Myna Threat(#86, LADD) for being a great co-captain to me when I was Fight Crew captain and for stepping up and taking over as captain when I stepped down. All of the incoming skaters who give renewed energy to me when I'm feeling overwhelmed and burned out. All the other Derby Dolls who have helped make a dream a reality through an amazing amount of hard work and tenacity. Every league out there be they banked or flat track for setting an example that you don't need to be bankrolled by a major corporation to make your goals happen. I love all you roller derby people!